With summer in full swing, many parents are looking for ways to keep their children engaged, especially children who are anxious or shy. Associate Professor Heidi Gazelle shares valuable insights on how to help anxious children participate in activities that can foster their social and emotional development during the summer months.
The Value of Social Interaction
For anxious children, social interactions can be challenging but also incredibly beneficial. “Children need opportunities to see their friends or make new friends over the summer,” Gazelle advises. “There’s a lot of learning that comes from social interaction, which is important to developing social maturity.”
Activities such as playdates or summer camps are excellent avenues for children to make new friends or stay engaged with current friends, Gazelle says. “A general recommendation for parents, especially of kids who are younger and aren’t able to arrange activities themselves, is that the summer is an opportunity to potentially continue positive friendships, consolidate friendships, or make new friends,” she says.
For older children and teenagers, finding activities that align with their interests can be crucial. “For children, friendships can often be activity-specific, especially as they get older. In high school, there are a lot of activities, so many friendships are based on common clubs and interests. These friendships help children or teenagers to be socially integrated into their school system,” Gazelle explains.
The Role of Parents in Supporting Anxious Children
Parents play a crucial role in helping their anxious children engage in activities. “Parents of anxious children can sometimes select their children out of these types of opportunities because they're afraid their child will be anxious,” says Gazelle.
However, she encourages parents to allow their children to participate for the potential benefits. “In terms of children who are shy and anxious, these activities are probably even more important for them,” she emphasizes.
Exploring local opportunities and finding a good fit among various activities is a good first step, Gazelle adds. “A lot of camp opportunities, for example, are supervised, and children can have positive experiences. Look for something that the child is likely to enjoy; and there may be other aspects that make it a good fit – like if there’s a friend that’s doing the activity. Sometimes it’s not about the nature of the activity itself but the social aspect that’s important to children.”
Gazelle also notes that for children who have substantial difficulties with anxiety, the summer can be an opportune period for counseling or therapy.
“It’s smart to start therapy at the beginning of the summer so children can implement new skills they’ve learned in therapy at the beginning of the school year because it’s a fresh start,” she says. “That way, they have a better chance to have positive experiences and develop a skillset that will help them.”
Navigating School Transitions
School transitions, such as moving from elementary to middle school, can be particularly anxiety-inducing. Gazelle points out that participating in summer programs specifically designed for these transitions can be incredibly helpful. “When young adolescents start middle school, a lot of schools will have a summer camp shortly before school starts. That’s an opportunity to meet some new peers,” she explains. These programs help familiarize children with their new environment and peers, reducing anxiety and promoting a sense of belonging.
“Research shows that when children begin school, they do better if they already know some of the other children,” she says. “Some schools intentionally group children into kindergarten classrooms based on where they went to preschool, for example. So, some schools are savvy about that. But parents can also make efforts, again, to ensure that their children are introduced to other children who will be going to the same school; and that can ease different school transitions.”
Choosing the Right Activities
When selecting activities, it’s important to consider what your child enjoys and where they feel comfortable. Gazelle shares a personal example: “I always let my son choose what extracurriculars he wants to do. One of the first extracurricular activities he did back in first grade was basketball. And after the first game, he wanted to quit. I said, ‘This is your first game of the season. At the end of the season that you’ve signed up for, if you want to quit, that’s fine.’ And he then chose to play basketball for four years.”
This approach allows children to explore new activities without feeling trapped, while also teaching them the value of commitment and perseverance. Encouraging your child to choose their activities can also ensure they are genuinely interested and excited about participating.
Listening and Building Trust
Gazelle also notes that summer can be an opportunity to introduce a bit more freedom. The key is finding a balance between structured activities and unstructured time that allows for rest and exploration.
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Listening to children and adjusting summer plans as needed is an important part of the process. “I always encourage parents to listen to children. Ask them, ‘How did it go?’ and take the child seriously when they're talking about interpersonal problems,” she advises. Building this trust ensures that children feel supported and are more likely to share their experiences, allowing parents to provide the necessary guidance and support.
By maintaining a balance of structure and freedom, facilitating social interactions, supporting transitions, choosing the right activities, and listening to their children, parents can help their anxious children have a fulfilling and enjoyable summer.
To learn more about Gazelle and her research, visit her faculty bio, or the Social Development Lab page.
