Summer is a time for fun, relaxation, and growth for many kids. However, parents commonly feel the pressure to fill their children's schedules with a multitude of activities. While extracurricular activities can benefit education, growth, and development, over-scheduling can adversely affect both children and parents.
Ming Cui, Fulbright Scholar and professor in the department of Human Development & Family Science, shares her insights on over-scheduling and offers advice for finding a healthy balance of activities and free time over the summer.
The Phenomenon of Over-Scheduling
"Parents wishing the best for their children can sometimes end up over-scheduling their children’s time with too many activities," says Cui. “And the phenomenon of over-scheduling is not new.”
Cui notes that a pair of books published in the early 2000s, Take Back Your Kids by family therapist Bill Doherty and The Over-Scheduled Child: Avoiding the Hyper-Parenting Trap by psychiatrist Alvin Rosenfeld and journalist Nicole Wise, describe how many parents create “aggressive" schedules of extracurricular activities to ensure their children's success. Lessons, camps, sports games and practices, clubs, and other activities can dominate schedules.
"The current culture of the U.S. promotes the phenomenon of over-scheduling," Cui notes. "The trend is growing across all racial and socioeconomic groups. All these activities sound great, and it’s not surprising that parents want to sign their kids up for everything, but these activities quickly add up.”
Though parents have good intentions, over-scheduling can be harmful.
“Studies show that packed schedules can deprive children of the opportunity to make their own decisions, live their own lives, and learn important life lessons. Additionally, the stress and pressure to succeed can be overwhelming,” Cui says. She also emphasizes that over-scheduling affects parents as well: "Hoping to make their children’s lives better, many parents over-function, put their own needs after their children’s, and sacrifice their own well-being. As a result, many parents, both physically and emotionally – using Rosenfeld and Wise’s words – are 'overworked, overwhelmed, and over the top.'"
Signs of Over-Scheduling
To determine if children are overwhelmed with activities, Cui suggests parents consider the advice of family educators and therapists Jean Clarke, Connie Dawson, and David Bredehoft. They recommend that parents ask themselves:
- Do the activities consume too much of children's physical and emotional energy and time?
- Do children enjoy these activities?
- Do children have free time and downtime?
- Are children missing out on other important matters and relationships?
"Parents are encouraged to consider freeing up their children’s schedules and allowing them to ‘waste’ some time – time to do what they want to do, or time when they don’t have to do anything,” Cui says.
Encouraging Free Play and Downtime
Striking a balance between scheduled activities and free time is crucial. "Clarke and her colleagues urge parents to ‘give the kids a break,’" says Cui. This balance allows time for children to do chores, chat, think, hang out, and rest. Experts suggest rethinking parenting priorities and understanding that childhood is not a performance but a preparation.
To help parents avoid the over-scheduling trap, researchers propose several principles: limit the number of activities, leave empty spaces on the calendar, take breaks, and slow down. By finding a balance, parents can ensure their children have enriching experiences while also enjoying the freedom to play, explore, and simply be kids.
To learn more about Cui and her research, visit her faculty bio, or read some of her latest journal articles and book chapters relating to overparenting, indulgent parenting, and the well-being of children and their parents.
- “Discrepancies in perceived indulgent parenting, relationship satisfaction, and psychological well-being of adolescents and parent,” published in Children.
- “Indulgent parenting and the psychological well-being of adolescents and their parents,” published in Children.
- “The over-scheduled child,” published in The SAGE encyclopedia of economics and society (Vol 3, pp. 1234).
